Category Archives: Music

Classical music and Tool

A while ago I got into a fight with some wise men. The fight was about music.

‘Obviously,’ they said, ‘classical music is the music of the huwhite man.’ To which I replied: ‘I think classical music is overrated. In fact, I think Tool is just as good as classical music, if not better.’ Naturally, shock and horror followed, and after being ridiculed for my bad taste in music I went with the Trump defense and informed them that I have great taste in music, the best. I still stand behind that defense. I have great taste in music, just great.

Classical music isn’t bad. It’s actually pretty good. Better than most pop music made nowadays. But classical music is… I dunno… Music from a dead era. It doesn’t ‘fit’ in our modern society. It’s out of sync.

I like classical music from Vivaldi and Debussy, whose pieces I can accurately attribute to their unique styles. I also like Bach, Mozart and Beethoven, but in my mind they are so alike that I don’t know which song belongs to which artist. Für Elise is by Mozart right?

(I’m not kidding.)

The big advantage classical music has over its modern successor is that in the period of classical music, the patriarchy was alive, kicking and proud. All the instruments were played by white men, the music was played by white men, the orchestras were directed by white men… All the music of that era has a quality of mass cooperation, of harmony and pride that has since been lost. Radio music is almost without exception music of pain, music that signals frustration or escapism or failure or just plain bullshit. So in that sense I like classical music. I often prefer classical music radio to other radio.

But classical music is also a product of its time. It gets old, boring. There is a staccato quality to classical music that has always kept me from really enjoying it the way I enjoy some obscure modern music. The instruments are too recognizable. At a certain point I know all the sounds a violin or a piano can make. I want to hear something new. New music has all kinds of surprising sounds which classical music does not offer.

Of course, conservatory students instinctively know this, which is why they’re so unhappy. It’s similar to guys investing hours to learn the electrical guitar only to later learn that rock music died a while ago.

As society changes, so does our art change. Just because society is changing for the worse does not mean we can copy-paste old music and call it a day. More specifically: it may be better to copy-paste old music than listen to top 50 music, but it is still a sub-optimal solution. We want new 21st century music that is on par with what classical music was to a 17th century crowd.

We have that music, if you look for it. It represents the current peak of humanity, even if that peak is a lesser peak than in the time of Mozart.

What do you mean by peak?

Classical societies functioned better. They had better Assabiyah. Assabiyah is a vague term, but it is easily observed: average socio-economic position has worsened. I know this because I observe crappy socio-economic positions around me: even for all traditional high-status socio-economic positions such as lawyer, doctor and pilot, socio-economic position has worsened over the years. A doctor 50 years ago walked around with straight back, had pride, a doctor nowadays is bent under the weight of bureaucratic tape and fear of patient lawsuits. I know it used to be better because everywhere around me I see memories of such times, most notably in architecture.

As is often said, our ancestors have invented electricity, industry and mass transportation, but we don’t really know what to do with it. We are squandering it.

So it makes sense that classical music, like classical architecture, is better than its modern counterpart. But I don’t live in a Parthenon. I live in a place which has been so thoroughly infected with leftism eating in-groups that there are few in-groups left.

(Boomers don’t get this; they act as if we are still one big in-group and their boomer money shields them from learning the real score, which millenials know: everyone is in competition with everyone.)

Luckily, music can be made in a much smaller group than architecture. Hence, the existence of good contemporary music.

As said, my nomination for Peak Modern Music goes to Tool. I’m bad at labeling music like hipsters do, but I guess the were an LA based progressive rock band with some metal. I was really into them as a teenager and I still sort of am. All music gets old, I try not to listen to the same songs too often.

But yeah, Tool. I feel silly explaining why I like them, I know the wise men didn’t like me more for explaining my reasons. I guess… Their music is leftism at its peak, at its best; Tool’s music is about conflict, finding harmony in conflict, but in the end only conflict. It’s about schisms, about unresolved desire for unity or enlightenment that is never achieved, or only grasped temporarily, then lost. You could say that is a metaphor for life and perhaps that is how Maynard/the band intend it, but its more about leftism, but that’s OK, because in the end that is what 20th century Western society was, after all. Take the prophet hate in Eulogy: it is directed at Jesus, and implicitly towards all forms of religion. So, leftist boilerplate you’d say.

But at the same time Eulogy could just be about false prophets. It’s never specifically progressive music, it’s timeless leftist music.

All the instruments in Tool are in harmony with one another, the same kind of harmony an orchestra was able to pull off in the time of classical music, harmony which is now lost on a larger scale and thus confined to small groups of people.

So that’s my case for Tool.


Poor Eminem

I recently caught Eminem’s freestyle rap against Trump. I felt bad for Eminem.

I listened to his old albums quite a few times (from Slim Shady LP up to Encore). I liked them. Too be honest he never had the best beats. In fact there’s this signature Eminem-beat, it’s a sort of staccato rhythm that vaguely reminds me of hardcore music, which is surprisingly popular in the right Dutch subcultures but revealing of lack of taste in music. Too aggressive, too unimaginative. For me at least.

But as a rapper Eminem was one of the greatest, even if rap is the most overrated genre in the modern music game. He had good flow, was good with words, didn’t shy away from rapping about fucked-up shit that just made you laugh. And at his peak he was Big. Eminem got as close to being a rap god as you can imagine.

But of course, in the end, he is still a white boy in a black neighborhood. Prior to being famous he had a shitty life. Then Dre came along and Eminem blew up. Saved by the black man. What an interesting fate. Leftists may say this, rightists may say that, but Eminem thanks his entire fortune to an industry dominated by blacks embracing him into their midst. So it is no wonder he now stands with them. He simply feels more loyalty towards the music business’ diverse ethnicity than to the ‘plight of the white man’ (a problem shared by Dutch white hip-hop artists whose Dunbar make-up makes it impossible for them to think Diversity+Proximity=War thoughts).

Yes, Eminem is vapidly virtue signaling, but really, who cares? The failed campaigning by Beyonce, Jay-Z and Katy Perry for Hillary Clinton taught us that artists’ impact on politics is quite small. Fans don’t change political opinions for stars.

I suspect that most of Eminem’s original fans, angry young white males, dislike this freestyle anyway. I know I do. He looks like an old man with a midlife crisis. Listening to a creative rapper with something interesting to tell was fun, listening to this self-righteous useful idiot, not so much.

At any rate, when J.K. Rowling came out as a frothing-at-the-mouth Social Justice Warrior, I felt scammed for ever having read Harry Potter. I don’t have so much hate towards Eminem. He had a good run while it lasted. R.I.P.