Category Archives: Guest post

About doubt & love

Do I have a special post today! None other than miss Alf herself proposed to write a guest post. She wanted to respond to my love series and describe her own perspective a little bit. This she has done, and I with great pleasure post it below.

 


 

I am a woman, therefore I doubt. I recall Jim stating this phenomenon in one of his posts (probably multiple times in 6 different ways with 12 examples, most likely not very concise).

I always hated myself for constantly doubting myself, my actions and everything else. I thought going to college all by myself in a whole new town would make me more mature, doubt less and care less. Unfortunately, it made things worse.  

I know what our relationship looks like from a distance. People see the boy drop out of college and subsequently forcing the girl to drop out of college as well. People see a shy girl without an opinion and a boy with an extreme opinion. One of my boyfriend’s friends once asked my boyfriend why I just sat there and didn’t react to the “things my boyfriend says about women”. Another friend said he thought I didn’t talk back. To make it clear for once and all, I am not the shy stupid girl they all think I am. I told his friend that most of the time I do talk back. Not that it makes any difference, I’ve said it before to the whole group and apparently they forgot.

I don’t mind, because I know that I am happy and they are jealous. I mean, I know how my old college “friends” feel, making “jokes” about how useless their studies are and how they will never find a job. I guess they are waiting to be saved too.

Truth is, my boyfriend makes me feel talented, pretty and smart. He even makes me feel like my boobs are huge while they are pretty average. He stimulates me in starting my own business. He forces me to do the things I fear the most, but is always there to take over when I have an anxiety attack. And most important: he recognizes my jokes are superior to his jokes. [lies. -Alf.]

University made me feel sad, purposeless and insecure. I once thought being strong and independent would make me a stronger woman, however, it turns out you do not have to do everything on your own. Back then I couldn’t make the choice to drop out of college myself. I thought my life would end the moment I would drop out of college, turned out my life would only just begin.

I hope this wasn’t too crappy for you smart guys. [it wasn’t. <3]

Love,

M

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