Strength

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Today I will tell you why my blog is named AlfaNL.

It is named alfa because at the time of creating this blog, 5 years ago, I was still sort of working out how to get laid, and getting laid is all about being alpha, so I just named it what was on my mind most, NL referring to my country of origin. Finally, the reason it is spelled alfa, not alpha, is because I first wrote this blog in Dutch.

I feel that now, years later, I have finally solved the puzzle of being alfa in a way that I can explain. I could’ve titled this ‘THE SECRET TO BEING ALFA’ but I think this title is better. After all, the secret to being alfa is strength.

I’ve already touched on this in a kingdom for the introvert.

The most important lesson I learned as an introvert is this: don’t show weakness. Extroverts, hell, people in general, come down on weakness like a ton of bricks. They sniff out weakness, and introverts in public society all too often display body language revealing that they are uncomfortable, that they want to disappear, that they want to be ignored. They signal weakness. Displays of weakness arouse disgust. I’ll repeat that once again because it is such a crucial point for introverts: displays of weakness arouse disgust. It’s like seeing a cockroach.

So, I stopped showing weakness. In fact I do the exact opposite: I signal that I am a threat, that if you disturb me I will come at you, like those poisonous animals in the jungle with bright colors. Works like a charm.

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A successful introvert, yesterday

The more I go looking for a fight, the less fights I get in.

Very true, very wise, and the more I live to this principle, the better it works for me.

Different things work for different people. But, the fundamentals of strength are universal, and I will attempt to explain them now.

There’s different kinds of strength, but most obvious is bodily strength: size, muscles, and the body language that flows from that. For an easy example, check:

That is basic cookiecutter alfa walk: straight up posture, swagger (walking with rhythm), chin tilted up, easy-going. Notice how his back muscles push away his shoulders from his torso, increasing the distance between his arms and torso, making him even bigger.

All of this goes back to the jungle; who is the biggest monkey? The guy who acts like the biggest monkey is the biggest monkey.

My sole objection is that his suit, especially his pants, are a size too big.

Anyway. Displaying strength like that, if only slightly less exaggerated, is what gets you respect, not just from chicks, from dudes as well. Strength is the most powerful tool of persuasion.

So, go to the gym and lift iron. Put on some weight, or if you have too much of it, lose some, although being slightly overweight is preferable to slightly underweight. Don’t worry if you’re small, skinny, or disadvantaged in some other way; work the advantages you have, that is enough. Remember, Connor McGregor fights in the featherweight division.

Very important part of strength is health. Displaying strength is displaying health. So, in order to show strength, you must be sure you are healthy. How be healthy?

This is a hard question to answer, first because people are different, second because we are surrounded by an incredible amount of lies concerning our health. As a rule of thumb, I don’t believe nutrition experts, physiotherapists. Doctors I take with a major grain of salt. Their advice is vague, contradictory and subject to silly fashions. For instance, when I experienced muscle pains, every paid expert advised stretching exercises which I was supposed to do for the rest of my life. Did them for a while. Didn’t really work. Then I went to the gym, did heavy compound exercises with barbells, and whaddya know: pain disappeared.  I have yet to meet the first health expert who advised me to do heavy squats.

Similarly I experienced pain in my hands, especially my thumbs, which makes sense because I like gaming. Overpaid health experts gave me a bunch of stretching exercises. Did not really work. I reasoned that if heavy lifting worked for the rest of my body, perhaps it would work for my hands. So I made up some lifting exercises for my hands. Whaddya know: pain disappeared.

I knew this guy who was a regular at the gym. He and I must’ve attended about as often, even though I’m sure he did extra sporting activities like cycling and running. He was the kind of guy who’d tell you about his marathon activities while sipping from a green cucumber/carrot concoction. Of course, instead bench pressing and pull-ups, he would do cardio exercises and light lifting. And, surprise surprise: he looked unhealthy. Skinny and worn-out. Which made sense, because he was wearing out his body in order to score holiness fit points.

A lot of injury-sensitive sports are unhealthy in the same way: scoring holiness fitness points is often more important than actually being healthy. Marathon running is not good for your health. Rugby, while manly, is not good for your health. Listen to your body. If you experience repeated injury because of an activity that is supposedly healthy for you, your body trying to tell you something important. Listen to what it is saying!

I believe that the natural state of the body is to be healthy. Exceptions aside, if you are ill on a regular basis (e.g. in that you have to call in sick, lie on bed all day), it is very likely that your body is trying to tell you something is wrong. Listen to your body! Interestingly, the bodily pain you experience might very well not be the result of bad diet or health habits. Often it is psychological; that your body transcribes your psychological state into a physiological state. Thus, if you’re not happy, this often expresses itself in body pain. An often occurring and dreaded visit for doctors is the spinster lady with unexplainable stomach pains.  The doctor knows what causes the stomach pains, you and I know what causes the stomach pains, but no one is bold enough to tell the spinster ladies and it is too late for them anyway.

Since you are probably not an old spinster: find what makes you unhappy, correct for it. If this means quitting your job, quit your job. If this means breaking contact with people close to you, be it your lover or your family, do it.

So here we see how strength in mental health is related to strength in physical health, and how it is of little use to focus on building physical health when your mental health is lacking. Lots of people pretend to be happier than they are, but the truth always shines through in their body language.

We are wired to know our standing in the socio-sexual hierarchy. If you want to climb up, repair in your life what makes you unhappy, instead of pretending you don’t give a fuck. You give a fuck; everybody at some level gives a fuck. you know it, I know, everybody knows it, and pretending you don’t just isn’t a good long-term strategy. Quit what makes you unhappy, don’t worry if it lowers your status; I know happy garbage men who get much more and higher quality pussy than depressed suit-and-tie businessmen.

Now, diet. I find diet is highly personal. I eat lots of meat, lots of fat (I drown my cooking pan in butter), lots of carbohydrates, a decent amount of vegetables and a little bit of fruit. I also take creatine, weightgain and potato chips because I want to be as not-skinny as possible. Diet is personal; experiment with what works for you. Simple guidelines: don’t be cucumber/carrot guy, meat is good, the more processed a food is, the less good it is, many carbohydrates gain weight, fewer carbohydrates lose weight.

As for sleep: it’s important. Sleeping rests the body, but also rests the mind. Dreaming is our way to process all the stuff that happens throughout the day. Dreams are also our subconscious’ way of communicating with us; listen to them! It’s been over a year since I stopped sleeping with a pillow, instead resting my head on the mattress just like the rest of my body. I believe it sends more blood into my head, makes my dreams livelier. But again, might just be personal.

I’ve come to love afternoon naps. Right after lunch, no longer than half an hour. Since those naps I have energy to do my thing all day, and not crash on the couch in the afternoon / evening. It’s the closest thing I have to an effective lifehack.

Drugs, if cautioned for addictive properties, are good for your consciousness. Nicotine stimulates neurons, makes you think faster. Marihuana makes me creative. Alcohol makes me social. XTC makes me love life.

Moving on to social strength. Social strength, in a nutshell, means don’t blink in a game of chicken. Games of chicken occur when people test you, and you test people, which happens all the time. In traffic it happens when a guy cuts you off, in the gym it happens when tattooed big muscly guy bumps into you, in flirting with women it happens when she says you’re too old for her. Rule of thumb: don’t blink, push back. Be prepared to cut off the guy in traffic, be prepared to bump big muscly guy back, be prepared to laugh off shit-test and tell the woman that you’re old enough to be her daddy.

If you accept that it’s OK for your car to have scratches you’ll be miles ahead of everyone else, because most people go to great lengths to avoid scratches.

The greatest benefit of not blinking and pushing is that it gains you respect. Most people prefer to be liked, but I prefer to be respected: it is less whimsical, more robust. When people respect you, they are automatically more inclined to like you.

With projecting strength comes a certain loneliness. It is the knowledge that you are responsible for your life, your territory, your family. No one else is going to do it for you; not the government, not your family, not your friends. Your life hinges on you. Thus, if things go good, pat yourself on the back. You’ve earned it. I call this the satisfying loneliness of being a rightist male. It is contrary to the unnerving social life of a leftist male; the leftist male has, as an advantage, that he is plugged into a bigger hivemind. But the hivemind has big influence on his state of mind, and he is constantly re-assessing his standing, is constantly being re-assessed by the hivemind. Quite stressful. I prefer my way.

Social strength is more than just walking around like a silverback. African men intuitively act like silverback monkeys, and this works, but they are outclassed by white men, because white men know how to behave like 18th century gentlemen, which is a more complex form of strength. It demonstrates situational awareness: what is my appropriate role in this situation? With women one needs softness, with children one needs playfulness, with men one needs to observe, sometimes strike. Finesse is needed in every situation, sometimes more finesse than I have. But, in every scenario, when in doubt, it is always better to err on the side of showing too much strength than to err on the side of too little strength.

Important to note is that while projecting social strength at times seems like magic, it can rarely be used to change fundamental frame. E.g. if you act like the boss around your boss, you won’t get away with that. People are aware of their roles, and even if they have insecurities you can play into, their insecurities will often only strengthen their roleplaying.

If you know how to project social strength, it is remarkable what becomes possible. Once you hit that sweet spot you will notice that men imitate you and women want to be with you. Life becomes a joy.

To illustrate: I am the most right-wing guy I know. I am also, if I am to believe my friends, a very not nuanced guy (to which I reply: ‘nonsense, I am the most nuanced guy around!’). Yet, I rarely get in trouble, I even have some leftist friends. Why? Because I project strength. Everybody likes a strong horse. I know for a fact that if I were to show weakness, if my health failed, my big mouth stopped running, my muscles shrunk, I would lose standing and get in trouble. I know this because I have experienced it in the past. But I have learned and know that as long as I show strength, I will be fine.

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6 thoughts on “Strength

  1. Well written. In addition to going regularly to a gym a man should also practice a martial art. As you say, somethimes there is a time to strike. Then it is better if you know how to do it and how to deal with the counterstrike (if it occurs).

      1. Not bad, but if are a beginner it won’t matter much which martial art you choose. More important to find a place to train at a convenient location with people you like. Otherwise you won’t keep doing it.

  2. The interesting thing is that reading you and reading Jim, one gets the impression that this works the same way regardless of whether you are young or old. However, my experience is that this changes a lot when one gets older, most people simply stop playing these games.

    For example, being cruel to people who show weakness. Absolutely true of high school. Kind of true in college. And after working a few years, pushing 30, it nearly disappears. As long as one does one job relatively well, I see absolutely nothing from about I am 27-28 that would look like that and I am 41 now. People at work are “nice”, absolutely uncompetitive in the social sense, don’t give shit to people who are introverted or shy or weak, seem to have about zero sex drive, seem to give up the fight against getting fat around 30, try to get one kid in quickly before fat renders them infertile, and then put on a big show of being the super nice parents, and so on. I think political correctness largely hooks in their pre-existing desire to never offend anyone.

    This change from the fierce social competition of high school to the absolutely mild and accomodating attitudes lacking any competition at 30 at the office, with the rare after-work bar crawl, is seriously astonishing. The introvert, tinydick, shy programmer types are basically becoming the adopted babies of 40-45 years old fat women in the accounting department, consoling them with sweets if they complain about having went to a party and felt too shy to talk to people. As their sex drives dried up, apparently these women did a complete 180% about-face about male weakness, from absolutely despising it to behaving like mothers to them. For it is a long time wisdom that mothers love their neediest, weakest kids the most.

    The Chad-Virgin difference just disappears by 30 in my experience. Chad knocked up a girl, married her, got fat, got a stressful job and most of his masculine energy, competitiveness went away. Virgin discovered the Manosphere or at least the gym, and as a fit man pushing 30 with a decent career he is getting more and more considered by carousel riders pushing the wall and thinking it is time to settle. Chad and Virgin earn about the same, Chad in sales and Virgin in IT, Chad making 2x as much tops but generally handling money worse so may own less, and generally just the social difference just disappears.

    I know this is not Jims experience and not yours either with your older coworkers or friends, I am just saying these kind of experiences also exist.

    1. Sure, people find their niche and nestle into it. And when they get older they lose energy, are more habitual, avoid conflict.

      But at the fringes, where the conflict and change happens, in which I am most interested, you will always see that strength talks.

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