The Adjustment Bureau is crap

I hate small talk, almost as much as I hate repeating myself. I’m just not that kind of guy.

Because I hate repeating myself I do not pinpoint this blog into a specific category. It is not exactly a political blog, but it is not not a political blog. It is also not a sewage culture commentary blog; I’ve done my share of sewage culture commentary, I do not want to make it too repetitive.

But you can not always escape the machine; if the entire mass entertainment industry is geared towards sewage, some of it is bound to spill over in your personal life. So maybe the occasional venting will turn the spilling into a force for good, namely dank content.

I just watched The Adjustment Bureau, and it was a glaring reminder of why I avoid Hollywood movies like the plague. In it, Matt Damon plays a promising US politician who might one day be the next president. He falls in love with a girl, but discovers the existence of mysterious men with hats who are actually angels following a mysterious plan made by ‘the chairman’ who is actually God. In that plan Matt Damon is not supposed to fall in love with the girl, so the angels stop them from being together. Matt Damon protests because love = love but the angels say that The Plan must be followed and Matt Damon must become president of the US and the girl must become a famous dancer which won’t happen if they are together. Since the angels have superpowers it seems like Matt has no chance, but lucky for him a black angel takes pity and helps Matt teleport through doors, stopping the girl from marrying an NPC. Together they try to escape by teleporting to the Yankee Stadium and the Statue of Liberty. A confrontation with the angels ensues, but God admires Matt Damon’s bravery and rewrites The Plan so love can be love. The End.

The movie is pretentious, boring and empty. It was obviously made in the pre-Trump era. Matt Damon supposedly represents a new kind of politician, one that is raw, honest. In his ‘best speech’ he so refreshingly honestly tells his audience that everything about his outfit is calculated and that they paid an expert 7400 $ to tell them exactly how scratched his shoes are supposed to be. It is of course obvious that Trump, who wears big red ties down to his crotch just because he likes it, is this president, although the movie makers are no doubt horrified by the comparison. Matt Damon is raw and honest, but not thatraw and honest! Matt Damon was liked by CNN, was featured in the New York Times, made high fives with Daily Show folk! In other words, Matt Damon was supposedly raw and fresh, entirely within Hollywood-accepted political system, which at the end of the day makes him just another empty suit, while Trump, breaking with Hollywood morals, is actually raw freshness embodied. You can’t change a broken system by playing by the rules, yet that is exactly what the Adjustment Bureau tell us.

The movie of course completely lacks this bit of self-reflection, and as a result is pompous and pretentious in its propagation of progressive values. The nod towards homosexuality acceptance (love = love) can not be missed, including the message that somepeople just stick to the bible too much but never fear because HollywoodGod changes the bible! That the 1 angel who helps Matt Damon is black can also not be missed. And of course there is the speech by an archangel about ‘God retreating when Christianity picked up steam, leading to the tewwible Dark Ages, and God later returning to give the people the Enlightenment’ which was incredibly cringe-worthy, though probably the best part of the movie in that it rewrites history in a way that is opposite of the truth yet understandable to normal people, making them feel like they have insight into history on similar level to Harvard history professors, which indeed is very true, just not in the way you’d expect.

Can I think of any good qualities? … No, not really. The Adjustment Bureau is really just Hollywood wearing the skin of Christianity to make God say progressivism is the one True religion.

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