About doubt & love

Do I have a special post today! None other than miss Alf herself proposed to write a guest post. She wanted to respond to my love series and describe her own perspective a little bit. This she has done, and I with great pleasure post it below.

 


 

I am a woman, therefore I doubt. I recall Jim stating this phenomenon in one of his posts (probably multiple times in 6 different ways with 12 examples, most likely not very concise).

I always hated myself for constantly doubting myself, my actions and everything else. I thought going to college all by myself in a whole new town would make me more mature, doubt less and care less. Unfortunately, it made things worse.  

I know what our relationship looks like from a distance. People see the boy drop out of college and subsequently forcing the girl to drop out of college as well. People see a shy girl without an opinion and a boy with an extreme opinion. One of my boyfriend’s friends once asked my boyfriend why I just sat there and didn’t react to the “things my boyfriend says about women”. Another friend said he thought I didn’t talk back. To make it clear for once and all, I am not the shy stupid girl they all think I am. I told his friend that most of the time I do talk back. Not that it makes any difference, I’ve said it before to the whole group and apparently they forgot.

I don’t mind, because I know that I am happy and they are jealous. I mean, I know how my old college “friends” feel, making “jokes” about how useless their studies are and how they will never find a job. I guess they are waiting to be saved too.

Truth is, my boyfriend makes me feel talented, pretty and smart. He even makes me feel like my boobs are huge while they are pretty average. He stimulates me in starting my own business. He forces me to do the things I fear the most, but is always there to take over when I have an anxiety attack. And most important: he recognizes my jokes are superior to his jokes. [lies. -Alf.]

University made me feel sad, purposeless and insecure. I once thought being strong and independent would make me a stronger woman, however, it turns out you do not have to do everything on your own. Back then I couldn’t make the choice to drop out of college myself. I thought my life would end the moment I would drop out of college, turned out my life would only just begin.

I hope this wasn’t too crappy for you smart guys. [it wasn’t. <3]

Love,

M

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6 thoughts on “About doubt & love

  1. My wife never went to college, because, albeit bright, her family was just too poor for her to not get a job at the earliest possibility. As a result she ended up doing all kinds of coolie work, waitress, cleaner, cook, and by 35 it resulted in all kinds of health problems, back, knee. Physical labor isn’t like a free gym, it tends to be very unbalanced, resulting in such injuries. She sees how 50 years old coworker women are nearly crippled with pain and urgently tries to get an office job now, so we investe €3K into an SAP user certification and hope for the best. From this angle, letting the taxpayer buy one an college degree in accounting type work is not a stupid choice. Not going to college is a gamble – maybe some other idea could really pay off, but if not then it is back to coolie stuff, back-breaking waitressing at a cruise ship or something.

    Business… is I guess business people are a special type. Driven, ambitious, full of dreams and goals. Generally the same kind of people who also like to consume, thus, have a passion for a given product or service. My wife and me are not the business type because we hardly consume, we just buy what is necessary, don’t feel any passion for any product or service. So I think we will stay employees until retirement.

    1. Yes, it is a gamble. You make a good point about physical labor.

      Still, I prefer 1 day the way I live now over a week the way I lived in the rat race.

  2. Excellent post! Make more posts, she-alf!

    As a husband I can relate to this part especially: “I once thought being strong and independent would make me a stronger woman, however, it turns out you do not have to do everything on your own.”

    I can clearly see my wife drawing the same conclusion and since then became more happy – embrace the nuclear family, fam.

    Hopelijk komt er een tijd waarin /ourguys/ en /ourgirls/ elkaar economisch kunnen ondersteunen wanneer eigen bedrijven worden opgericht. Ik hou mij in ieder geval aanbevolen!

    Groet en doorgaan waar je mee bezig bent Alf!

    1. > Hopelijk komt er een tijd waarin /ourguys/ en /ourgirls/ elkaar economisch kunnen ondersteunen wanneer eigen bedrijven worden opgericht.

      Eens!

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