The dancing monkey’s monkey dance

 

The world’s a stage, and all the men merely players.

According to Darwin we are all monkeys. Darwin was right. Tyler Durden from Fight Club then said we are all monkeys waiting to be shot into space. Tyler was right. Tyler Durden from Real Social Dynamics then said that being a dancing monkey is being try-hard. He was selling a purple pill lie.

The truth is that we are all dancing monkeys. People are piqued when I tell them this, as if the notion that you are putting on a show implies that you are not being real, not being yourself. Nonsense.

When I leave my house, I am a dancing monkey, because I know that cooperation/cooperation outcomes require good dancing. I meet people, I dance, they dance, we dance. That is simply the way humans communicate. We don’t know others like we know ourselves, hell, we rarely know ourselves, so we do the next best thing, which is to act out a dancing version of ourselves which communicates to others as effectively as possible who we are. It is show – of course it is show! – because that is what communication requires. Whether or not you consciously experience the need to dance, the end result is the same: you go out in the world, perform your monkey dance, and you reap the results of said dance. You may assign as much meaning to that as you want to, but in the end that is all there is to it. You are just 1 monkey, in a world of 7 billion monkeys. You dance, or someone else will dance on your grave. It is self-deluded pride to think otherwise.

At this point it is important to repeat that being a dancing monkey is a red pill, not a black pill. Our challenge is to turn it into a white pill: make it so we enjoy performing our monkey dance. Dancing is meant to be fun, after all. I enjoy my dancing, am as relaxed in my dancing as I can be (I rarely completely relax, because Gnon punishes unguarded relaxation), and as a result I enjoy my life.

By the way, what’s the last time you literally danced? Should be at least somewhere in the last 7 days. You’re not just your brain.

But let us look at women. For ages men have looked and women and discussed among themselves the age-old question: why do women love soaps?

I watched 5 episodes of a soap. It confused me. I just didn’t get it. What is the point of 30 minutes of fighting about Maria, who carries her sister Theresa’s baby, a baby Theresa made with Chad, Chad who turned out just cheated with Helga, Helga who is not only the mother of Theresa and Maria but also heir to the Sippensdale Imperium, the Sippensdale Imperium which Chad’s brothers hate to the bone! Oh an Maria is also a transgender. During the 5th episode I specifically remember thinking: what the fuck am I watching.

Of course, now I get it. Women can’t distinguish between the monkey dance and the monkey reality. For a women, the monkey dance is the reality. Soaps are a bunch of very pretty monkeys in pretty clothes performing dances on steroids. Of course they love it.

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pretty monkeys in pretty clothes

Now let us look at men.

The trick is to get men to enjoy their monkey dance.

Self-development used to be religious. Both are about your identity and place in this world. Now, people are very different, but people are also pretty similar. Men need property, need a woman, need monetary purpose, need männerbund, need children. None of these are absolutely necessary, but exclusion of any goes against our genetic programming. A happy father is a happy dancing monkey: it is good to feel in control of your life.

Modern life lacks feedback mechanisms that reward our natural dancing instincts. Teachers say you suck. Universities say you’re wrong. Companies say you don’t matter. Media says you’re evil. Etcetera etcetera. We are told our land is not really ours, and the same thing goes for our family, work and friends.

Dancing in such an environment sucks — our monkey instincts are too strongly abused. Unsurprisingly everyone is increasingly sick, which goes double for those who are officially designated to heal the sick: all psychologists are depressed, all psychiatrists are in denial.

I am struggling with how to end this. Some kind of uplifting message? Not sure. Getting to co-op/co-op outcome with men is hard. Requires time, trust, and something for all parties to gain. Am I dancing with my readers or just doing some autistic solo performance? Eh. We’ll see.

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7 thoughts on “The dancing monkey’s monkey dance

    1. My experience is the exact opposite: co-op/co-op with women is easy, just gotta raise your testosterone, pass her shit-tests and you’re set. I’ve done it with women in my life and it makes me want to write a blog post titled ’99 problems but a bitch ain’t one’ or something similar.

      Co-op/co-op with men is hard. We have emancipation not because women defected, but because one group of men defected on the other group of men. Men are wary of each other, seem to only cooperate in the face of a greater purpose or danger.

      The reason you might experience trouble with women that are not your wife or daughter is that their owners treat them bad (e.g. pretending he is not her owner). This makes these women act out their bad relationship with you. But once again, that is a problem with her man, not her.

      1. The way you phrase it, I have to agree. However, most men in present Western culture fail to raise their testosterone levels and fail to pass shit tests. Just look at the many divorces initiated by women.

        It takes a special perspective to call something easy at which which most men fail.

        1. Yes most men are stuck in defect/defect with women.

          But we’ve been in co-op/co-op before 1820, so should be able to get back at that, and my experience so far shows it is very possible to get back to that.

          1. Yes, some time ago we have been in co-op/co-op, but getting there again collectively is hard, much harder than it is for an individual. I see the solution for an individual man – he just has to learn game. Unfortunately, learning game is not a solution for our collective problem.

            Solving the collective problem requires a new religion as Spandrell is fond of saying. Maybe an old religion will also work, but changing the faith of a people is really difficult.

  1. Some remarks. It is true that we are dancing monkeys, but only because we don’t have anything more important to do than to ensure others have a good opinion of us (good is relative here, if a girl thinks you are an evil asshole who is also irresistably sexy, that is considered good now, perhaps I should I just call it “have the opinion we desire them to have about us”).

    There are all kinds of heroic movies whose appeal is precisely that there is something more urgent and important going on than the monkey dance. Recall Carlyle’s ship – when the ship is in storm then it does not matter one bit what the passengers or the crew think about the captain, what their opinion is, all that matters is that he can save the ship, and the laws of nature will judge that, not people. It’s not just an old poetic thing, I think we all saw a lot of movies of this kind, disaster movies, war movies, whatnot, when the appeal was precisely this temporary respite from the monkey dance: that the whole thing felt very honest because the hero had to face a situation far more real than mere opinions, and win.

    “Shit just got real” is a good way to put it. People call this thing bad and that thing bad and it is mostly just talk talk talk, acting acting acting. And then there is a life-threating situation, a disaster, that is just obviously bad by itself because it can kill you and others, and the acting is over because it is 100% authentic REAL badness, without regard to opinions. Part of the appeal of those movies is just temporary respite from all the acting.

    But we not live in such dire situations, we tend to have nice comfortable civilized lives which means we can always afford to monkey dance to a certain extent and thus it is required.

    Still our jobs contain some amount of reality, things obviously authentic bad and the more of a threat of this they contain they less importance is the monkey dance, the less importance is all the opinions about what is bad.

    I mean in large businesses there are always some people who do no real work, just act. But someone has to ensure the buildings they construct won’t come crashing down, the databases don’t get corrupted, the cars don’t catch fire. That shit is real and not up to opinions. And to the extent one works on these real thinks the more he can ignore the monkey dance.

    I have recently discovered some of my coworkers like me. It surprised me, because I don’t like those folks and thus kept my communication very terse, laconic, even impolite with them. So not dancing. It turns out they like me because they feel they can rely on me that every time they have a serious problem I fix it quickly. Sure, they like people who dance the good dance and make them feel good more. But sometimes they get into real trouble of a technological kind and they appreciate someone reliably saving them, even when that someone is so rude that he sends emails that contain only a single char “?” as a request for more explanation.

    So there is that, too. Doctors are famously rude and they are not acting rude in order to send an alpha message or something. They just don’t give a shit about your opinion because they know what you want is get healed, fixed, fast, not having a good time during the visit. They can just afford to ignore the dance because when you are ill or hurting that is one of those 100% authentic real bad things that put people in the “shit just got real, acting temporarily suspended” mindset.

    1. > even when that someone is so rude that he sends emails that contain only a single char “?” as a request for more explanation.

      Sounds to me like standard Heartistian asshole monkey dance game.

      Naturally there is a point at which the metaphor breaks down, but what I am saying is that even when society breaks down, there is no escaping the monkey dance.

      Even in Carlyle’s ship, the captain acts out the role of captain and the crew acts out the role of crew.

      When you think you are being authentic as opposed to inauthentic, you are just enjoying your well-executed monkey dance.

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