A valued reader took slight issue with a previous post on women. ‘You focus too much on the penetration part!’ went the accusation. Well, no and yes.
No, because love is war and penetration is male victory. As Nick Krauser said: in seduction, once she lets you penetrate her, you have won. The power dynamic flips; before penetration the woman has the upper hand, after penetration the male has it. This is why the salesmen Always-Be-Closing-script translates so well to seduction: once you penetrate, you self-congratulate!
Saying the same in different words: men are built for war and war requires penetration of borders, be they territorial or vaginal. That this is a horribly politically incorrect thing to say in our #metoo-world does not make it any less true.
Yes, because expansion is only one half of the male experience. The other part is territorial guarding. Once we conquer our territory, we cherish it and similarly we cherish our woman. A woman wants to feel your penetrative power, but equally she wants to feel you care for her, that she is special and that you will protect her. Hence woman’s love for never-ending foreplay, which for women might as well be called mainplay. Rape is a very common female fantasy, but I’d say the most common female fantasy is a high-status man who loves her so much he’d die for her.
Walking the balance between these 2 sides of the coin is what Aubrey Andelin calls Man of Steel and Velvet (h/t Nick Krauser). Because the Western system thoroughly hates men of steel I focus more on that part, but my valued reader is correct: both steel and velvet should be in balance.
On a related note:
The role of women is submission and nurturing. Women do not consciously work on their role like men because women lack agency; a woman is not aware she wants to be submissive until she has been enthralled by a male who demands her submission. She is also often not aware she wants children until she has them; the idea of children might actually scare her but this is only because women are bad with ideas. Once she gives birth, feminine instincts turn on and suddenly the world revolves around her children.
Now, the nurturing of children can only be accomplished in a safe environment that encourages her and affirms her role as mother. So the nurturing instinct of women is the inverse of the velvet instinct of men – the two complement each other.
BUT, we have established that women will crawl 9 miles over broken glass to have sex with demon lovers. Women don’t do well on their own. They are like the children they raise. And their attachment to their children is just as emotional as children are. So left on their own, women are apt to fetishize their children, to make little Gods of their children. This is where the submissive role of women comes into play. As women play in the sand with their kids, they need men to set the boundaries of the sandbox. Hence the need for the steel instinct of men which complements with the submissive instinct of women.
A healthy family is always the same: father –> mother –> child. But in a feminized society the mother wears the pants and the mother’s instinct is to place the child above all else, so the pyramid is inverted: child –> mother –> father. This is dysfunctional, and the solution for a father who finds himself in such a position is to lift weights, raise testosteron and read what knowledgeable fathers like Rollo Tomassi and Dalrock have to say on the subject.