I fondly remember this one time I was reading Heartiste, my girl resting her head on my shoulder. She spotted the ‘dating market value test for women’ link and wanted to test herself. I gave her a half-hearted warning that she wouldn’t enjoy it, but we did it anyway. Unsurprisingly, she scored well. Even more unsurprisingly: she hated hated hated the test and was insistent that Heartiste was without a doubt a virgin nerd living in his mom’s basement. Much lulz was had.
Heartiste, who has the reputation of being the minion of Satan, is not really the minion of Satan, for Satan is evil and Heartiste is not really evil. George Soros is more deserving of the label, or if we are sticking to websites, Oglaf is probably most deserving.
Heartiste is not evil, he’s just an asshole. But he is not just any asshole: he is an asshole with purpose. Initially, Heartiste was the popular jock in highschool who enjoyed hitting on women so much that he took his knowledge online in order to teach men. Old Heartiste explained how women worked and specifically what made them wet and spread their legs. He employed no hidden agenda, no sales-man bullshit, just the stonehard facts. Where pretty lies perish. As it turned out Heartiste’s wisdoms were such a breeze of fresh air for so many men that Heartiste, like many in the manosphere, realised something malicious was going on, and through the wonders of the internet stumbled upon the New World Order plot to castrate all high-testosterone men. Thus new Heartiste explains how sexual market dynamics translate to the political arena: how the left that controls the West is in actuality formed by cucks and sexual market rejects (behind every feminist hides a bitter woman) and how the right is in actuality formed by alpha males.
Now you might ask: ‘so the guy is a professional badboy and I should probably keep him away from my daughter, my sister and my girl. Why honour such a man?’ The answer is, quite simply, that Heartiste is the hero the world deserves.
The story of Western civilisation is the story of alpha white males leading beta white males into building lots of nice stuff. The current story of Western civilisation is that alpha white male behaviour is illegalized, which makes white beta males follow the lead of females. This is fucked up for a myriad of reasons, among them that females don’t like taking the lead and long for the open palm of a strong man to slap them off their pedestal. Since alpha white male behaviour is illegal, such a man, as alt-rightists angrily point out, usually has a long beard, a turban and shouts ALLAH AKBAR.
Hence Heartiste: the outlaw alpha white male who does not care what is illegal and what is legal. Fuck hot chicks make fun of losers. A smirk on his face is all that is needed to drive his shiv deeply in the frail egos of cucks, betas, sluts, spinsters, libtards and whatever people Heartiste would make fun of if the world were one big highschool. The guy has a talent for words and insults. Heartiste reminds us why cool people are cool, why bullying works and why game is the one crucial skill needed to survive modernity. In effect he sets the standard for all future internet jocks.
Interestingly, before Heartiste was banned on twitter, he had about 10k followers. Arguably his favourite target to bully, John Scalzi, had about 100k followers. From this I arbitrarily conclude that for every true shitlord there will be 10 libtards, and seeing how nature finds balance in all I stand in awe of the fact that 1 Heartistian shitlord really does equal 10 Scalzi libtards.