Yesterday my girlfriend convinced me to watch Love Actually. I started watching with an open mind, expecting it to be a mediocre yet marginally entertaining movie. I was quite dissapointed, for the movie is a horrible piece of crap. Let me count the ways.
- All the romantic plotline men are bumbling idiots. Literally all the men, up to Hugh Grant being the ‘oh my gosh I’m so silly’ minister-president of Great Britain.
- All the male best friendships were a black guy and a white guy, portrayed like they are the most normal thing in the world. They are not – black/white best friends are non-existent.
- The scene where Hugh Grant white knights against the entire United States because the American president whispered naughty stuff into his secretary’s ear is next-level cringe.
- The scene where the black guy watches tv in his christmas sweater with his arms wrapped around his wife Keira Knightly just doesn’t happen in real life, unless Keira hides her bruises exceedingly well.
- Liam Neeson’s stepchild drums for weeks on end and Liam supposedly takes it all because he has such a big heart. In the end of the movie he takes in another stepchild from another mother and supposedly it is love all around. Cucked Actually.
- The part where the muscular model hunk makes love to the aging lady about to hit the wall and tells her she is beautiful was just ridiculous.
I could go on but honestly I tuned out halfway. I think the thing that bothered me most was the completely feminized way the movie portrayed the world, like the world is a giant sandbox in which women just happily stumble through life meeting sexy men and in which men serve only to accomodate women’s needs. “It does not matter if you have no clue of how reality works, things will work out for you <3” is what the movie says. Well unless you are a married white man like Alan Rickman and you flirt with a woman outside your marriage: then you are simply evil and deserve to be hated by your family.